I keep catching myself saying next time I will do this, and next time I will do that. I did so many things wrong, that next time I will do it right. Why am I doing this? I don't want there to be a next time. I don't want this is to ever happen again. I don't think I could make it through this again. My heart goes out to you ladies who have had to go through this more than once. I just feel like there is no hope anymore. I need to get that 'next time' crap out of my head.