I also just don't feel comfortable anymore. Chad and I moved out of our house, and I know this post will make some people upset, but I am just not comfortable. This move is the hardest thing for me. It is partly my fault, if I could get the courage to go back to work full time at the daycare we would be alright. I wish Chad and I could just move far away from everything. I want to start our lives over. It is hard for me to be comfortable when I don't have my own space. This next year is going to be a struggle for me. Hopefully, in the next couple months I can go back to working full time.
Poor Chad. He is trying so hard to make everything work. He is taking on so much, and I am so thankful for him. I know he is so stressed out. He is the only one stopping me from going crazy.
Lately, I have thought a lot about going to see a therapist. I really want to. I just don't want to mess with the insurance people again. I have been messing with them since we lost Parker and Gavin, and we finally got it all figured out. I don't want to talk to them any more. Everything is so crazy and stressful. I just don't know how to handle all this stuff I have bottled up. I let it all out on Chad, but it doesn't help him. He wants to help me so much, but can't. I have no where else to turn, without upsetting somebody. I can't even tell how I truly feel on here because everyone reads it.