Monday, July 6, 2009
Difficult Day
Chad and I are moving soon, so I had to pack up the babies room. It is really diffcult. Man they would be coming any day. I just sit here and picture me juggling all the needs of two babies. I see all these little outfits and tons of diapers, and I know I can't use them. I should be using them right now. All these things were meant for Parker and Gavin, but now they go into storage for the next child that might come along. I can't give them away, and to tell you the truth, I don't even want the next child to use them. We bought them for Parker and Gavin. When will I get to the point when I can think about them and not cry? Will that point ever come?
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Kayla,
ReplyDeleteI think the time will come for you when you think of your sweet boys and not cry, but for everyone it is different. There is no magical number that says you will stop grieving in x months. It is just a process you have to go through. Sometimes (not always) I smile when I think of my girls because I feel so lucky to be their mommy. They are so special to me, even though they are not here.
I have things that were specifically bought for Sophia & Ellie and I will never use them for another child or give them away. These things will always be theirs. I have not even moved these items since losing the girls, they all sit exactly where they were before I had them. I am not ready to do that yet. I even have a doctor's appointment reminder card in my car, and I am not ready to let it go...I know it sounds silly, but I am sure you understand. I hope you find some peace ahead. Thinking of you.
xx,
Tina