Thursday, July 16, 2009

Brave or Survival?

So I started reading this book. It is called Dear Parents- Letters to Bereaved Parents. I love it so far. It shares all the emotions that I am feeling. I will probably be posting a lot about this book. They put my feelings into words. Here is one passage I would like to talk about.

"I weary of hearing how brave I am. I weary of people saying 'I don't think I could go through what you've been through.' I'm no stronger nor weaker than they. We all do what we have to do when we don't have any choice. Sure, I act normal. Sure, I smile and crack a joke. That's not brave.......that's survival. They don't see me at night."-Sandy

Man if I had a dollar for every time I heard that from people. Everyone says I am so strong. If it ever happened to them they wouldn't be able to get out of bed. Trust me, most days all I want to do is lay in bed, but you do what you have to.


  1. Thanks for the book suggestion. Glad to hear you are getting out of bed cause it is a big step, and if you want to stay in bed for a day, thats ok to. Thinking of you xo Nan

  2. Wow...that sums it up. I am going to read that book, it sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing. There is such a huge difference between survival and bravery." I am sure so many bereaved parents have heard those very words Sandy wrote about. I saw a beautiful quote on a t-shirt at the March of Dimes. It said "You never know how strong you are until strong is the only option you have." I totally agree. I do believe we are strong...but our strength comes from survival mode.