Monday, August 17, 2009

Our 4th Anniversary

I didn't get a change to post yesterday, but it was Chad and my 4th anniversary. It was a good relaxing day. I just can't believe we have been together for four years. It has been a great, but hard road. I know we can survive this though. We have a good and strong relationship, which I think is great for our age. He is a great guy, and I really couldn't ask for more. I am so thankful for him. Chad is my best friend. I love him so much.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Chad got a sign from Parker and Gavin yesterday, or at least we believe it is a sign. Chad and I find comfort in listening to music, so we downloaded a bunch of them that dealt with the loss of children. One of them was Elton John, Blessed. Chad was listening to his Ipod at work and he had it on shuffle. That song came on, and when it was over it just started again. Chad said in all his life he has never had the same song play twice in a row when it was on shuffle. I think that is so great that our boys are watching over their daddy. Got the first sign from them letting him know they are alright. I can't wait for my sign.

Thank you sweet boys, for letting Daddy know you are with him.

Sunday, August 9, 2009


Well today, or I guess yesterday now, was my expected due date, August 8. As most of you know this day is the hardest ever. Right now I should be having two beautiful little boys. The day was an alright day overall. This morning I had a little meltdown, but the rest of the day was good. Chad and I tried to go hiking, but of course the was a heat advisory so that just made it miserable. So after walking for all about fifteen minutes lol, we went to see The Hurt Locker, which is in the top three best war movies. After that we went down on Main Street in St. Charles and did a little shopping at the antique stores. For dinner, we grabbed Subway and went to eat at the Angel of Hope. The Angel of Hope is a child statue with wings, and a place of healing for bereaved parents. You can buy a brick to be engraved and placed there. Our brick will be there in October so pictures to come. But there is a picture below of the angel with two white roses for the boys. Of course with our luck there was a wedding going on there, so that kinda rushed us.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Also, while we were there Chad gave me a set if rings. They are two rings intertwined with the boys' names stamped on there. It is so cool. When I figured out a way to get a picture of it I will post, but for now here is the website. For the rest of the night we just played cards with Chad's parents and their friends. So overall it was a good day, but I missed my boys like crazy.

Parker and Gavin, mommy and daddy miss you so much. Remember sweet babies, let Jesus hold you until mommy and daddy can hold you. We Love You!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

4 month Angelversary

Today is Parker and Gavin's 4 month angelversary. Life is just so different from what I had imagine. Right now in my dreams I would have two newborn babies at home. I should be runnning on a few hours a of sleep and going crazy because they won't stop crying. Instead I am running on a few hours of sleep and going crazy because the pain of them not being here is unbearable. I miss them so much, more than anything. I would do and give anything to just hold them for one more day. All I can do is wish that one day I will again.