Wednesday, September 2, 2015
I thought about my blog the other day and decided to come back to visit. After reading through old posts, I felt compelled to write again. I am sure that no one is visiting this page by now, not that it matters. I never started this so people would read what I had to say. I did it so I could have a place to release my sadness, my anger, my grief. Writing was a way for me to process what I was feeling, and to help me heal. I realized that I have come a long way. It has been 6 years since we last said goodbye to Gavin and Parker. So much has changed in my life, so much more happiness. I have two beautiful, healthy, rainbow babies. They are 5 and 2. They bring so much joy to Chad and I. I guess that is why they are called rainbow babies in the first place. They were and are the hope after that terrible storm. I am also now a co-facilitator of a support group in my area. I decided that I wanted to do something with the pain that I had been feeling. The boys give me strength to make it through everyday. Now that 6 years have passed, I have lost some friends and family members have went away. But I have met some new friends that have become family. We still attend all the Share events and visit the cemetery all the time. I love that they are still very much apart of lives because I was scared that they would be forgotten or just fall by the waste side. I still think about them every single day, and still when I see twins or hear people talk about them, I tear up. I am proud that my living children know and talk about the boys all the time. A few days ago, My kids each got a balloon and my daughter said that we had to get one for Parker and Gavin to let go up to Heaven. It was so sweet, and makes my heart so happy!! Well that is it for now. I don't know when I will be back.