Caregivers

Last post from the book Dear Parents-Letters to Bereaved Parents. This letter is from a caregiver. It talks about the way family members act towards a loss.

"I am aware that some of your painful moments have been those in which someone was trying to help and didn't know how. Most of those sayings come from people who think they are helping, even if they aren't. So, how can you respond? Don't gloss it over, because to do so would not be living with honesty and integrity about your feelings. On the other hand, try not to respond out of rage you may feel. Understand that people who hurt you are almost always trying to help."-Janice

To start off with, it is the things people say that make the loss so much harder. Although I do understand that they are trying to help. It just doesn't make sense that we have to put our energy into educating them. Why aren't they trying to go out and find information on their own? I sound like a broken record.

I also have this other problem. I want people to be here for me, and to have people feel sorry Chad and I. One the other hand, I don't want people calling every day. It goes back to those contradictions. What do you do?