The night of April 3 I started having back pains, and the next morning I had mild abdominal cramping. I thought my body was just making room for the boys, and I didn't think anything about it. Around 1pm Saturday, we decided to go to the hospital. On the way, the pain really started coming, and we knew I was going into labor. I was only 22 weeks along, exactly. We knew it was too early for our babies to survive.
From that moment on everything was a blur. I remember being rushed to my room while Chad filled out the paper work. The nurses found the babies heartbeat, and both boys were okay. I kept asking if my babies were going to be alright, and they kept telling me they didn't know. A nurse then went to check my cervix. She took one look and than ran out to get the doctor. Later they told me I was fully dilated. There was a lot of talking and there was a lot of nurses and doctors coming in and out. All I could ask was if they were going to survive.
Gavin David Lewis was born first at 2:46 pm and went to heaven a couple minutes later. He was 1lb 3oz and 11 inches long. Parker Lee Lewis came into this world next at 2:47 pm, and followed his brother a minute later. He was 11oz and 9 inches long. Chad and a nurse took the boys and cleaned them up while a nurse cleaned me up. I kept asking if they were going to make it. Finally a nurse came over and told me they were just not strong enough to survive. Then they brought my precious boys over wrapped together in a blanket. For the next couple of days, we got to hold our boys. Our family got to meet our babies. Everyone said hello and goodbye all at the same time.
We had a graveside service on April 10, 2009 to say goodbye to our sweet sons. Laying them to rest is one of the hardest things that we have ever had to do in our lives, but now our babies are at peace.
We found out that the boys were totally healthy, they were just too young. I have an incompetent cervix. My body just could not take the weight. The boys shared a placenta, and Twin Twin Transfusion was starting to take place. This is where one baby takes more nutrients from the placenta than the other one. That is why Gavin was a lot bigger.
Chad and I miss them so much everyday. Some days it hurts so bad we cannot stand it, but other days are not so bad. We would do anything to bring them back, but we know we cannot do that, it is just not possible. We truly believe that they are in a better place now, one free of harm. We believe that they were just too special for this world.
Beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing your precious boys!!
ReplyDeleteGavin and Parker are so precious. I'm so sorry that they aren't here with you.
ReplyDeleteHattie's mom
Your boys were beautiful! I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had some profound advice for you. Just know you're not alone in this journey. I have been comforted by so many wonderful women through my blog and you will be too.
ReplyDelete