I just found out that a friend of Chad and mine is expecting. I am so upset. Why am I so upset? I should be happy for them, I guess. Even though we are expecting also, it is not the same. I just imagine Chad and I having our boys and everyone being crazy over them. Now they are going to have a baby around the same time. I sound crazy and I don't know how to put what I am feeling in words. It just should not be this way. Its not fair. I want my boys back. Why my sweet, innocent boys!