I know I have Brooklyn, but I just want to be pregnant again. And not so much as missing being pregnant, but I miss the innocence of it. I will never get that back, no matter how much I try. Our friends are having their baby any day, and I am happy for them. But I get hit with a pain of jealousy every time I hear about.

I just need to cry. I haven't had a good cry in a long while. I miss my boys so much. I wish I could hold them just one more time. I want to kiss them and tell them how much I love them.