Mother's Day

It is so hard to be happy with Brooklyn and still grieve for Parker and Gavin. I still miss them with everything in me, and would give anything to have them in my arms again. But because they grew wings and went to heaven, Brooklyn is now safe in our arms. We love her with all our hearts, and would not trade her for the world. How do you handle this? I just have to remind myself that they are still very much a part of our lives, and are always looking down on us. I know they played a part in bringing Brooklyn to us. I have so many mixed emotions.

1st Angelversary

I am finally posting the pictures of Gavin and Parker's 1st angelversary. We did a balloon release at the cemetery and then went out to lunch.

Happy Birthday Gavin & Parker

Happy 1st Birthday, my sweet boys. I cannot believe that it has been a whole year since I have held you boys in my arms. I still remember the day that we found out we were having twins. I cannot explain how excited we were. It was the best news I had ever received. Then on April 4th, you boys were born. How lucky we were to meet you, to hold you boys while you took your last breaths. There is not a day that goes by that daddy and I do not think of you boys. You will forever be missed and loved. I am sure you boys are having a big celebration for your birthday, and this year you get to share it with the celebration of Easter. I wish I could just see what it is like on the streets of heaven. Today we chose to celebrate your short life here on earth, and the love we all have for you. I love you Gavin & Parker. Kisses and hugs from Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Brooklyn.

Birthing Class

I am posting this here because nobody is following the new little one's blog. I really want to keep them separate because when she is born there will be lots of pictures and updates, and I do not want the boys to be forgotten.

So anyway, I will post this here for now. We started our birthing classes last night. And of course, there is a lady having twins. Do not understand why I cannot catch a break. Can I not go anywhere without twins being right there. And I do not want to be mean but these people are complete idiots. There is no way they are going to be able to take care of twins, but yet they will get to keep them. It just makes me so angry. Other people do not understand, but I know this group knows full well what I am feeling.

The Perfect Statue

I had seen these from other blogs and fell in love with them. I had shown Chad the website a few months ago. Well he took it upon himself to create one. These statues are from Etsy-The Midnight Orange. She does a wonderful job. This statue means so much to me, and Chad did a wonderful job in designing it. The piece is called "They're Watching Over You." Here are the pictures.

Should be posting more

I should be posting more, and I am not sure why I don't. Everything is fine with us. I miss my boys terribly, and that will never change. I think about them everyday. Chad and I are getting married, and planning the wedding for next summer. Which is really exciting. I just wish our boys could join us. We are also finally moving out of his parents house. So our lives are still moving on, and we just have to take our boys right along with us. I don't want them to get left behind. I don't want to leave them in the past. I still have my breakdowns, but life is going alright for us right now. I need to make a goal to start posting more, so I promise I'll try.

Anger

I need some ideas to let this anger out of me. I have tried some writing, but that is not helping. Does anybody have ideas?